Put Something on the Something or Other

Oh, what the hell am I trying to do here.

Oh yeah.

YEAH.

So.

I revised the story a little bit. But like any good suicidal, after looking down the edge of the precipice, I'm having second thoughts.

So the original story for those one and half of you (Billy the Torso only counts as half a person) was about a girl who was trying to find rain outside of her domed, air conditioned shithole of a city. It was a big, fat, complicated idea that involved getting her favorite umbrella and trying to leave by car and then by train and then plane and then space cannon and nothing works, until she decided to say "fuck it" (not really, she's ten) and walk, which turns out to be what takes her out of the city and into the rain.

Possibly a bit much for six months for one man. But only because I want it to look pretty.

So I threw that into the "I don't want to throw you away because you're still an adorable halfway decent sploo of an idea but you're just too big and heavy and i'm not really ready for a committment right now baby but maybe a graphic novel in the future or something" box.

Its not a very big box.

The new idea keeps the girl and the city and the rain, except now the girl is in the room, is about eight to ten years older and never leaves the room, because in the room THERE ARE NO DOORS OR WINDOWS no, its a room in a condo-like flat in a skyrise building in the condo-district of the city.
The dome and the air conditioning over the city (aka a lot of production work) are gone, and have been super-shrunk into snowglobe size in the form of a...well, a snowglobe, on a table that the girl is now sitting at. Its not quite a snowglobe however, as instead of snow that falls every time you shake it, its rain. Impossible? Yes. But this is the future.
So the girl (let's call her Anna) is sitting at the table (one of those round breakfast tables), chin in her hands and is staring at the rain falling in the little globe and sighing wistfully. As is expected, the sun is bright, yellow and blaring outside through the glass-pane double doors behind her. For added effect, all the furniture in the room has that plasticine yuppie bought-off-that-catalog-that-was-in-Fight-Club look to it, there's a pot of eye-stabbingly red plastic flowers near the door, there's a calendar with a picture of a girl standing on a balcony smiling into rain falling on her face, with a checkmark for each day its been sunny (every day since the 1st, as far as we know) and there's a little figurine of a girl dancing in the snowglobe.
Everything I just mentioned will be strictly peripheral, as they'll be in scene, but the camera isn't going to give us any sort of up-front eyeful of them, because it'll be too busy focusing on Anna and the room at large, EXCEPT for a shot of the girl in the dome. A confrontational sequence of shots, as it were.
Anna is busily being wistful and casting longing gazes out the glass pane door behind her and generally looking like she wishes it were raining when....lo and behold...it starts raining outside.
Anna jumps up from her seat and runs over to the door, presses up against it, looks out and smiles.

Then she reaches over and presses the button (remember, future(is that stupid? that might be stupid)) to open door, and the door stubbornly refuses to do just that. She buzzes it again and again until she notices the words "EMERGENCY DANGER LOCK ENGAGED" glowing above the button and then looks outside again.

Outside is a potted plant (not so sure...its something she left or put out there at some point, like a book or a puppy, or a firstborn child) and the camera focuses to see little holes being burned wherever the droplets of rain falls on it.
Anna sees this and backs away from the window, then sits back down at the table and, with rain pouring outside, goes back to looking at the rain globe. Hopefully this time it'll feel more like she was wishing more that she was the girl dancing in the rain rather than just wishing for the rain.

Cause she sure got that.

So that's my new idea. As you can see I kind of took a machete to it. The only thing that's remained consistent so far are the overall attitude towards civilized society (aka its dirty, fake, depressing and pointless and weeee) and the color scheme, which is mostly yellows, browns, and some more yellows, with blues and greens thrown in during the rain.

It might be too much? Maybe I just need to man up and go wrangle the first idea onto its knees so that its a little more manageable.
I could be utterly fucking myself if I try to take that leap of faith, or it could be good.

Its hard to know what the right decision is, sometimes.

After all, its quite a drop.